anx·ious (the 2nd definition)

anx·ious   /ˈæŋkʃəs, ˈæŋ-/ Show Spelled[angk-shuhs, ang-] Show IPA

–adjective
1.full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous: Her parents were anxious about her poor health.
2.earnestly desirous; eager (usually fol. by an infinitive or for): anxious to please; anxious for our happiness.
3.attended with or showing solicitude or uneasiness: anxious forebodings.

p.s.

p.s. a big mahalo to all of you who are supporting me on my journey to Kauai! Yesterday was a blast! (and many thanks to my awesome mom and dad for treating all twenty one of us to an epic champagne brunch!)

√

Yoga mat           √

Beach cruiser      √

Surf board         √

Guitar             √

Got all I need. 4 days and  counting...:-)

Do you have to stand up to be a surfer?

When I was in seventh grade I decided I wanted to be a surfer.  I knew nothing about it other than my dad was a long boarder back in his prime and that all the kids that did Jr.Guards were surfers.  I remember wanting to be in it sooo bad.  The kid that sat next to me in T.A. was always drawing pictures of waves and talking about it. Then my mother told me I would have to enter frigid ocean water at the crack of dawn.  I decided I'd go a different route- meaning I decided to wear everything Roxy, Rusty, and Hurley possible.  I even owned the pucca shells for a couple seasons.  All my friends were wearing cute "Wet Seal" clothing while I was sporting the boxed t-shirts and board shorts.  I don't know what it was exactly, but I just loved the idea of surfing.


The next year I went to Maui with my family and friends.  Our family friends knew the owners of HONOLUA SURF CO and so we had the great experience of learning how to surf from one of the owners. I think I stood up twice.  It was on a long board but I LOVED the feeling.  I came home and got distracted by life and kind of put the surfing thing on hold (since I didn't even own a board) but I never really forgot about it. I'd watch Blue Crush over and over again and ask myself why I wasn't trying to get out there.

Since then I have had few, but memorable surf experiences.   I have gone in my local beach backyard Newport a couple of times (and hated the freezing water) and I surfed in Santa Catalina, Panama with the locals and some guys from SonRise Surf Ministries.  Although I often get 'pushed' into the waves I am quite proud of myself when I begin to 'pump'.  Some people might not be able to picture little monkey me riding-but maaaaaan I tell you its such a good feeling standing up! This past November I gave it a shot again in Hanalei Bay, and there I was pushed into the waves again. This time I was too nervous though, and didn't do so well.


I now own both a board (soft top little baby guy) and a 4/3 Rip Curl F-Bomb wetsuit (that takes forever to get on) but I can say they haven't been put to use that often....sigh.... why is the idea of surfing so much easier than actually doing it?


So the big question is, when do I get to gain the bragging right "I am a surfer?" Am I two years away? Or two months?  Reading Surfer and Surfing  magazing and watching fuel tvmakes me a spectator, but by no means a surfer... but I like to think somewhere deep down I can eventually master the skill. Lets be honest, being called a surfer isn't neary as cool as the actual feeling of being out there, just you and God and the waves...  One day, I'll make it but for now, I am just going to keep on watching, and pray that I learn some new surfing tactics in my Hanalei home.

 Call me a poser if you want, but I belong to both Christian Surfers and Surfrider Foundation and I think they are both awesome organizations aiming to make this world a better place.

Please Pray for Daisy Love

On Saturday, I had the rad opportunity of going to a conference in LA on love, sex, and relationships. Pastor Mark Driscoll led it, and man it was captivating, funny, and inspirational.  1200 people showed up. Singles, and couples of all ages.  I walked out with some rad tools and biblical knowledge on the Song of Song's.  Have you ever read it? Its a very sensual story with such beauty and grace.  This is the conference if you want to check it out.Song of Songs Conference

On a different note.... I wanted to send a shout out prayer request.  Its actually for a complete stranger.  As many of you know, Channel Islands Surfboards is owned by Al Merrick, the Christian surfboard shaper who works with world class surfers such as Kelly Slater.  His son, Britt Merrick was at the conference we were at and is one of the pastor's at the Reality Church Carpinteria.  Britt has an awesome story, starting out as a surfer kid not knowing the awesomeness of Christ.  He eventually helped out leading bible studies at his parents house for the surf kids.  From there alongside his dad dad, he continued to shape surfboards while also shaping his life into something far greater than a sweet surf set.  He has now written a book BIG GOD that I look forward to reading.

Well, back to the prayer request.  Through learning about Britt I realize he is an awesome roll model for those Christian surfers out there. My first thought was "Man, this guy has the life" And then I came across something tragic.. his daughter Daisy Love has cancer. She has something called Wilm's tumor. They got it out, but she has ongoing chemo.  She is just a little girl and can use all the prayer she can get.  Its crazy that such a beautiful family could suffer so much.  But this family keeps their spirits high and praises God even through the storm.  I ask that even though we don't know this little girl, we pray for her and her healing.

Here is the video in which Britt talks about Psalm 61: 1-4 and the story of Daisy.

Britt Merrick My Heart is Overwhelmed

Anusara

I have a new favorite Sanskrit word; Anusara. It means, "flowing with grace" and it just seems like the perfect word to love. Today is a day I need to recognize God's abundant grace.

I hope that I can flow gracefully throughout life during both the good times, and bad.

Be still....

vice?

People often say that coffee is their 'vice'.  I admit; I cannot live without coffee. It is definitely my go to in the morning...but vice? I am not so sure...have you ever read the actual definition for vice!?

Word: vice
Pronunciation: \ˈvīs\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin vitium fault, vice
Date: 14th century
Definition: 1. a : moral depravity or corruption : wickedness b : a moral fault or failing c : a habitual and usually trivial defect or shortcoming : foible

Word: cof·fee

Pronunciation: \ˈkȯ-fē, ˈkä-\
Function: noun
Usage: often attributive
Etymology: Italian & Turkish; Italian caffè, from Turkish kahve, from Arabic qahwa
Date: 1598
Definition:1 a : a beverage made by percolation, infusion, or decoction from the roasted and ground seeds of a coffee plant b : any of several Old World tropical plant

who am I to say?

some songs just speak to you. I heard this a few years back, and it still speaks volumes. He knows it's for Him.

Who am I to Say
by Hope.

Love of my life, my soul mate

You're my best friend

Part of me like breathing

Now half of me is left

Don't know anything at all

Who am I to say you love me

I don't know anything at all

And who am I to say you need me

Color me blue I'm lost in you

Don't know why I'm still waiting

Many moons have come and gone

Don't know why I'm still searching

Now you're a song I love to sing

Never thought it feels so free

Now I know what's meant to be

And that's okay with me

But who am I to say you love me

Mmmm hmmm

I don't know anything at all

And who am I to say you love me

I don't know anything at all

And who am I to say you need me

I don't know anything at all

click to listen.

February reading list

I recently purchased these books. They are all very different and I have come to love each one.

**Update! I finished Dear John! Great easy read... kinda sad..Yoga Anatomy is great! Now Im gonna try and tackle Changes that Heal.

L.O.V.

     Today I sat around and did practically nothing (minus three hours of yoga which hardly counts) and I realized... I need to give back more. My time is precious-but it only matters if I make good use of it. This past summer, my good friend Sara and I (we served in Africa together in 06) had the opportunity to work with Lily of the Valley Orphanage(or L.O.V. for short), in Tijuana, Mexico. I had an amazing time going down for the day and just hanging out with the kids and showing them love.  They make the girls cut all their hair off and dress the same way the boys do (bright orange shirts) which is just awful, so its important to make the girls feel 'girly'. 

     I missed that today..just that feeling of doing something worthwhile with my day. I hope soon I can find more time and motivation to love on kids the way God loves on us.

p.s. Its crazy that looking at these photos-I have zero makeup on and im not exactly dressed in fashion. Yet I know in that moment I felt so beautiful, and that those children saw me as beautiful. Kids show such unconditional love. Wouldn't that be rad if adults were like that too?

breathe me

everyone has a song. breathe me by sia; its my life song. its speaks volumes. its me. all of it. everyday.

Help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

I hurt myself again today

And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small

and needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

Ouch

I have lost myself again

Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,

Yeah I think that I might break

Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me

I am small

and needy

Warm me up

     And breathe me

the big O

This story speaks for itself... I often feel like I am the missing piece. such comfort in knowing what is to come!!

(Thanks Paul)

click here for the big o story online

Cheek Couture

One of the biggest blessings in my life is my friend named Molly. She has a business doing hair and makeup for weddings.  But beyond her business is her passion- her passion for serving others.  We served together in Rwanda, AFRICA a couple years ago.  Now, she is donating proceeds from her business to Haiti relief.  I'm honored to be friends with someone who serves with her heart and loves with her soul.

click here for http://cheekcouture.com/

Fate, prayer, and signs

I'm not sure if I entirely believe in signs...but I do think some things just aren't coincidences.  Those of you who know me know I've been praying on a journey I'm about to embark on.... Well,  I started off my rainy morning praying about it....

and this is what I came across less than an hour later on my way to work.

 Coincidence? or Fate?

                  

rain rain.... and tornados!?

Rain rain come and roam, but please do not disturb my home!

Last weekend my twenty four some first cousins and I went and ate at Ruby's on the Seal Beach Pier. It was quiet and peaceful.... here is a picture of it taken today. (credit to google news)

Seal Beach Pier. 1/19/2010

And this is the Huntington Beach Ruby's, right down the street from so many of us. Same day, just a few miles down from the Seal Beach Pier.

Huntington Beach Pier. 1/19/2010

gnarly!

prayer request

please pray for me as I am hoping to be able to attend yoga teacher training this spring.  I have finally found my passion in life and I am hoping that the stars align and I can continue my journey with yoga.

`namaste

alexandre krastev

went into Bear Flag Fish Co wednesday night for my usual ahi poke (yum) and fish taco and something caught my attention... (which is rare because usually nothing distracts me from the amazing food at that place)

But man..this artist is amazing! I hope to eventually one day own some of his work.  How rad is it that he combines surf, art, travel into almost a yoga zen-surf vibe.

can we say obsessed! check out his site! Alex Krastev Art

all artwork owned and copyrighted by Alexandre Krastev

Haiti

I know I'm about the gazillionth person to blog about Haiti.  But I can't sit here at work without having that helpless 'sick to my tummy feeling'. 

Am I crazy but I just want to get down there and play.  The adults, they can work on the essentials...but the children.  They deserve to play, they deserve to smile.  Is it crazy to think you can just grab a volleyball or soccer ball and head down there and start a game? These kids deserve some normalcy.  Everyone's in panick, its time to round up a team and spread some love.

I am SO SICK of looking at the terrible pictures of Haiti. Although they are among the poorest of the poor countries in the Western Hemisphere, it is a beautiful country, which is why I decided to post some pictures of Haiti they way we all should envision it.
(credit to google images)

I have also included some ways you can help below if you are interested.


Here are options to immedietly donate funds to.

World Relief:
http://www.worldrelief.org/


World Vision
http://www.worldvision.org/


Hopeforce International
http://www.hopeforce.org/


Most important, is PRAYER. Please pray for the people.  It is the one thing you can do that costs you NOTHING.  Also, pray for those who are thinking of going out there. Many people I know,(myself included), feel called to just love on the people and give them the HOPE they deserve. Pray for those in their possible journey to Haiti.

Snow?

Okay, alright weatherman...its time to bring some Snow. You had your fun in the sun, now Im ready to get wet.

Is it just me or is this winter quite stagnant? My new gear is just sitting there, waiting to be used.... poor getup... nothings worse that being abandoned!

My new and (yet to be used) gear.

p.s. really stoked on the gnu banana board-hear amazing things about it.

Swimsuits Already

As I just begin to put my boots on, the ever so early Victoria's Secret Swimsuit 2010 Catalog has approached (uninvited I might add) and although I plan to abstain from excessive shopping this New Year, I couldn't resist and indulged on (just one) purchase.  It was too cute to not share- but too naughty to post.  So for those of you brave enough; get prepared to be sucked into Victoria's Secret 2010!!

click here to see my new purple suit!!

P.S. UPDATE**** I bought myself one more.  This pastel print is vintage looking and just the perfect suit to wear during my stay abroad (sort of abroad anyways).

click here to see my OTHER new suit!

Uncontrollable Anxiety

I know I already blogged today, but my friend Chris Poblete has this amazing blog I wanted to share. Its called The Gospil for OC and it really has some inspirational words of wisdom.  Check out his website by clicking to the on the title.  One of the articles he included today really caught my attention.  Its titled Uncontrollable Anxiety by Burk Parsons.  Here is a passage I was really drawn to.

"We will only be free when we become as dependent on God as the birds of the air that our heavenly Father feeds and whose songs lift our eyes heavenward when we hear them sing, 'Son of Adam, don’t worry for tomorrow, cast all your cares on Him, for if He cares for me, how much more does He care for you?' ”

photography by Cami-Jane

http://www.camijanephotography.com/

Doesn't this just give you a calmness and a peace?  Thanks Chris for sharing.

Kevin Misajon

Do you ever hear a singer and think, "man, that guy is goood!" Well thats how I feel about Kevin Misajon.  His style is stellar.  The newlywed is from Hermosa beach and I first heard him a couple months back at the Rusty Pelican on a Saturday night.  We all loved his music and stayed until closing listening to him jam.  He sings and plays the guitar with an Indie/Rock feel, but mixes in some covers of Jack, Ben, John, and Dave. And he also adds in artist like Buble' or Sinatra! At first I thought he was just a cover artist, but then I listened to the music that he wrote and its really great. I think this guy will definitely go places.  Check out his music at his website, let me know what you think!

http://www.misajonmusic.com/

here are some things I love this moment...

I have made a little list of things I love right now.

YOGA

learning to play the acoustic guitar

 the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack

shades of purple

A.R. Rahman's music

this photo

International Princess Project

I am honored to say that I achieved one of my 2009 goals. It was to find a ministry in which I am passionate about and will continue to become part of.  This year, after seeing the movie TAKEN, I felt a tug pull me toward the direction of freeing women from enslavement and prostitution. I wasn't sure in which way my heart was directing me, but as in turns out it was right to the Internatinal Princess Project. I have had the great opportunity of volunteering with the wonderful group of women who make this project possible, and I have also found a place where I can financially contribute and know in my heart I am making a difference. Please click here to find out more about it, or check out their Punjammies. They are just adorable and make great gifts.

I have also included a video below. Warning-IT MAY CHANGE YOUR LIFE.Please take a look.

Yoga

I want to tell you all how great it has been to continue to do yoga.  It is truly a lifestyle, not just a type of exercise.  I have found my passion in life and I cannot wait to see where it takes me. I would eventually love to teach, but for now I am attending my studio,  www.triadyogaca.com six days a week.

I am also enjoying the benefits of Yoga through reading these books.

a new decade

Its a new year and I have decided to start blogging again. I cannot wait to see what 2010 will bring in.

Lets take a quick look back at what 09 brought me....

started off 09 at the Ritz in Beaver Creek

Here I am in March, overlooking the Atlantic
in the Hamptons with the fam and Jessie

Kicked off Summer 09 with a great trip to Vail in June

Got to hike and White water raft with good friends

Rode horses at Becker Meadows

Ranch (This is Karma)

 My best friend since kindergarten, Kelly King got engaged! (to a Prince, Matt Hayward)

celebrated my quarter century, camping with some great girlfriends

 

Jenn, Kell and I were finally together again for Halloween 09!

Had a blast back in New York again in November with Jessie

went to Greenwich Connecticut to frolic in the fall leaves

My Goddaughter who lives in NY, Sarah Barbara turned 5 on November 18th and I was there!

Kauai

 

A special friend, and fellow yogi surprised and hosted me on a yoga/surf trip to north shore Kauai. Here are some memories.

 My favorite Day, the blue hole hike

at the Hyatt cliffs, Kauai

Doug jumping at Kipu Falls
(30 feet drop)

Thank you for the great memories Doug, and for teaching me the love of yoga and many other amazing things. The adventures were great... Now time for a new decade...excited for 2010!